I am the Tomten Queen. I was online last night and I was Googling “tomtens.” You know, as you do. Guess what link came up first in the search results? That’s right: MINE, that’s whose. Aww yeah!! I have finally found my blog niche. I am the only one out there writing about ill-tempered Scandinavian gnomes.
So I’d like to thank all my fans who made this success possible. And I’d like to thank God. And my teammates. And, of course – duh! – the tomtens for making all of this possible. And my agent. Oh no, I know I’m going to forget someone…All the people of Sweden and Norway and Denmark…and winter…and cattle…Oh my God, don’t play me off…
I would totally spike a tomten right now if I could find one.
